Brown's Law
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

I just couldn't resist putting this forward, aptly titled,
Normal Student Vs GRE student
Have your Dictionary or WordWeb nearby, you are in for a laughy ride.

• Normal Person : People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
  GRE Student : Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting perilous projectiles.
  
• Normal Person : Twinkle, twinkle, little star
  GRE Student : Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim.
  
• Normal Person : All that glitters is not gold.
  GRE Student: All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.
  
• Normal Person : Beggars are not choosers.
  GRE Student : Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.
  
• Normal Person : Dead men tell no tales.
  GRE Student : Male cadavers are incapable of rendering any testimony.
  
• Normal Person : Beginner's luck.
  GRE Student : Neophyte's serendipity.
  
• Normal Person : A rolling stone gathers no moss.
  GRE Student : A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant.
  
• Normal Person : Birds of a feather flock together.
  GRE Student: Members of an avian species of identical plumage tend to congregate.
  
• Normal Person : Beauty is only skin deep.
  GRE Student : Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.
  
• Normal Person : Cleanliness is godliness.
  GRE Student : Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.
  
• Normal Person : There's no use crying over spilt milk.
  GRE Student : It is fruitless to become lachrymose of precipitately departed lactile fluid.
  
• Normal Person : You can't try to teach an old dog new tricks.
  GRE Student : It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative manoeuvers.
  
• Normal Person : Look before you leap.
  GRE Student : Surveillance should precede saltation.
  
• Normal Person : He who laughs last, laughs best.
  GRE Student : The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the optimal cachinnation.
  
• Normal Person : All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
  GRE Student : Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellow.
  
• Normal Person : Where there's smoke, there's fire!
  GRE Student : Where there are visible vapours having their provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.