I am the alpha and the omega

Thads my broblem. Id has sdug wid me for a beek duding de cucial dime ob my exam. All dadh enders my mindh id flem and nodhing else. And I am nod able do sdudy.
I wud hab been habby with dath alone, bud den dere came the

And id does nod end wid thad...

I dunno wad I am going do do.... Adleasd now my exams are ober. And I bill dake care of it...

P.B. : For those who did not understand my Colded language, they are referred to the English Translation

Posted by satosphere at 5:40 AM

November 24, 2003
Bankers Lament
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

I suppose its official now, that the CAT got cancelled
(I rather wished that it be called the DOG, much more nicer than the CAT...)
Apparently, some punks in Bihar thought that it would be fun to leak out the papers, of not only CAT but also other exams, not worrying about the consequences of that act and the cost that the organising committe has to pay. They have probably not seen the long sad faces of those who did do well.. (not me).
I am not the one to complain.. Inspite of all the preparations (4 mock cats to be exact suds, excluding the cancelled exam) and all ur good wishes (thanx for that), I managed to attempt only 79 Q's out of 150, which may seem pathetically small at first, but a deeper digging reveals that thats just about the average. Its not the number of attempts that counts but its the number of correct ones. The analysis at TIME reveals the solutions and the cutoffs... I am sure that I would have passed it...
All said and done, the cancellation just gives me a good chance to prepare faithfully for the examination once more. But the sad part is that, if the exam is held on the end of Jan 2004, it will cut right into Saarang, 2004. Lets see...
Atleast suds will have to bear the agony of travelling all the way acress the city on a dusty bus ride, I can picture him cribbing "Why God, why am I missing Saarang because of this...." As I said before, I am not the one to complain....
Two more exams to go and I will still not be free from the semester, I still have some project work to do....


Posted by satosphere at 10:13 AM

November 21, 2003
Bankers Axiom
In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it.

My Preparation for the Common Admission Test (CAT), 2003

1. Two free Mock CAT tests.
2. Three test papers solved (courtesy : my friends in my hostel)
3. Mugging of Important Maths Formulae...

This amidst all my End semester examinations (5 in all)

Wish Me luck, I badly need it even to get within the 95th percentile...

One good thing : I have sent all my application packets and am hoping that the early submission of the application will aid in my admission.

Will leave u all with this :

Whats in a NAME
If its easy to TAME
without BLAME
who came for the SAME LAME GAME
in search of FAME

Posted by satosphere at 4:04 AM

November 16, 2003
Baldy's Law
Some of it plus the rest of it is all of it.

My Dream
A wild wilderness; a lonely dirt road; oak and birch trees all around. Soft moss covering the trunks; small bushes of rhodendrons; patches of snow still present, still melting.

Early morning; sunlight peeping through the leaves; traces if light squeezing though the thick branches. Mist settled on the leaves lending an element of greenery all around. The sky, an orange tang from the sun; wisps of clouds buffetting aimlessly. A pristine blue lake visible to the left; a clear stream jumping over rocks ending in it. Snow capped mountains in the background, their reflections rippling on the lake; the sunlight scintillating like stars on the calm waters; a waterfall causing a fine mist.

A squirrel squeeking in the background; a songbird singing in the yonder; a mynah trying to imitate it; a kingfisher's shrill laughter; an eagles cry ringing in the air; a deer's incessant shouting; a cub of a bears innocent crying; a far away fox's howling.

A small ant - trail to its nest; a spider with its beautiful web in the bush; a beautiful butterfly moving from flower to flower; a dragon fly in the heat of mating, acrobatically; a chameleon, camoflagued against the green stem of a plant, advancing slowly; rabbits hopping toward their hole; a cluster of deer grazing near the shore; a brown bear splashing happily on a stream, catching salmon; a kingfisher diving gracefully into it; swans on the lake; ducks on the water, bobbing up and down; a bald eagle in the air, smoothly gliding.

Me, on the road, walking silently, hopefully, holding hands, with somebody.

What I would give for this...

Posted by satosphere at 10:40 AM

November 14, 2003
Baker's Law
Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Ranganathan Street
This post was spurred by my recent visit to the ubiquitous Ranganathan Street. Yes, The Ranganathan Street, one of the most famous shopping areas of Chennai. A traveller coming to Chennai should not miss this place or its cousin, the Pondy Bazaar - it does not sell what its name suggests or what you think of it. I know that it is not as high flown as Fifth Avenue or as popular as Bangalore's but its something that all Chennaiites are proud of.

During Weekends, the two shopping areas get hectic. In Ranganathan street and the adjoining Usman Road, for example, all you can see is a sea of black heads bobbing up and down slowly.
These three areas in T. Nagar attract lakhs from the surrounding areas, who come mostly on a Saturday morning and leave that evening with their shopping bags full. U can get almost anything here, from clothing, jewellery, accessories and other knick knacks. In fact, one magazine jokingly quoted that "It is possible to get everything here except wife and kids"....
Anyway, my visit to Ranganathan Street is purposed mainly to travel in the suburban railway, or to do some vegetable shopping there, but I never go there to shop for clothes or any other items. I got pretty bored of it, what with so much crowd and pollution and lack of accessibility (which should not worry a die hard tourist).
I shall come to my point.
What surprised me recently (I could not go there for a while due to other personal restraints) was the fact the domination of Ranganathan Street by Saravana Stores (That link is for ppl who know tamil. I have not been able to find a good one with English on it). There are too many shops owned by Saravana Stores. Not that I am against it in any way, but as any economist knows, such a large domination spoils the competition and reduces the quality. For example, there was first a Saravana Stores - a general merchants shop, then came the jewellary and clothing sections. All of them were housed in four storey blocks. Soon after them followed Saravana Provisions and then Saravana Streets and after that a fast food owned by them.... And then, at the entrance of the shopping street, there is one more sweets shop and a fruit shop (?).
It has been a gradual "Four - Year" transform from Ranganathan Street to Saravana Street. That is what I am unhappy about. IF u ever do take a visit to this place, u will know what I am talking about.

Well ,theres is nothing I can do about it. I just have to wait and see what will happen, and till then ignore that such shop actually exists during my weekly (if possible) crushing strolls to get to the vegetable market via Ranganathan Street....

P.B (Post Blog) : I tried to make it like Jags, Hence I peppered it with a lot of links. If they do not work, do comment. I spent over an hour collecting all these links.
P.B : If u do come to T. Nagar to shop, drop by my house, its very near to that place (otherwise I wouldnt have strolled by so many times to that place to make so many useless observations

Posted by satosphere at 4:58 AM

November 12, 2003
Bagdikian's Law of Editor's Speeches
The splendor of an editor's speech and the splendor of his newspaper are inversely related to the distance between the city in which he makes his speech and the city in which he publishes his paper.

Studying too hard.
This is what happens if you study too hard. (This may take a while to load)

So does anybody of you belong to that category, getting confused so much while writing exams?

Posted by satosphere at 4:52 AM

November 09, 2003
Babcock's Law
If it can be borrowed and it can be broken, you will borrow it and you will break it.

I got inspired (as if I do) to blog this spam which I got very recently. It was an utterly ridiculuous spam, and still dont know what it stands for....
Just tell me what this means


Re: Investment Capital.

Your contact has been gotten from the Riyadh Chamber of Commerce and
Industry in Saudi Arabia, and my client has interest to do business
relative to investments in your country in areas related to Real Estate,
Agriculture, Pharmaceuticals etc. to initiate a proper and structured

Please let me know what your response will be to an offer to receive
investment funds in cash if:

1. The said fund amounts to Twenty Five Million Dollars (US).

2. The said fund is in cash and will be transferred to you in same

3.The fund is intended to be invested through your agency in the
purchase and of facility and assets, for agricultural purposes within your

4. This transaction will result in your being paid a commission of 10%
off the investment capital.

5.The fund owners desire absolute confidentiality and professionalism
in the handling of this matter.

Please respond urgently.


Maryam Abudu (Mrs).

So what do I do?

Neways, I think that spamming is one of the worst problem that e - mail has brought over. I once got a spam which said Avoid Spam with this software. We didnt have any of this problems with snail mail....
Some spams disguise viruses too (I msut know, I got one like that)...

Hey media ppl, what do u say abt spamming - u must know a lot of it....
Luckily now, some huge conglamerate of companies is deciding to put an end to spamming....

Ok Ppl, Gotta go, Have a lot of Application work (More abt that in a later post), the final exams for this semester (till the 27th), a project report (that too to be submitted by the end of the semester)....
I will post whenever I get some time. Though I will shower comments on others's....

Posted by satosphere at 9:17 PM

November 08, 2003
Axiom of the Pipe. (Trischmann's Paradox)
A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth.

The last blog of Shobha's made me search and dig up this small compiled list of stupid questions and equally stupid answers.
Here it is

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
Stupid Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Stupid Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people
Stupid Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Stupid Answer: No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid: Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Stupid Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying good?
Stupid Answer: No, he's a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question: Sorry. were you sleeping?
Stupid Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?
Stupid Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
Stupid Answer: No it won't. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke.
Stupid Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle ............ it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!

Do think of some more and list it out

Posted by satosphere at 12:45 AM

November 05, 2003
Axiom of Promotions
What gets you promoted on one level will get you fired on another.

The Dictum of Alarm Clock Usage
Disclaimer : I am not responsible for any thrashings that you may recieve from neighbours due to (im)proper usages of the alarm clock described below
It would have often happened to all of you guys: You would have an important appointment at 8 am. You set the alarm for 6 am and sleep. When you wake up, the time would be 7:50 am, the alarm would still not be pressed and you would be stupefied by the brite light entering your room from the window. If you are that person, read on...
I will illustrate on how to optimise the usage of an alarm clock so that a person can wake up at the correct time. These too, as before, have been gathered from personal and neighbourly experiences...

1. Have a loud alarm clock
You must be confident that the alarm clock that you have will wake up not only you, but the entire block you are in. (In case of an hostel, the entire wing). This is of utmost importance when using an alarm clock to wake up sleepy - eyed - you early in the morning from a blissful sleep. For example, the alarm which I have has separate cells for the alarm part. My clock is notoriously famous for waking up my neighbours (in the unexpected wee hours of 6:30 am).

2. Place the alarm clock far away
You must place the alarm quite far away (atleast away from hands reach) from where you are sleeping. If possible, keep it in a place that is hard to reach. That incessant whining will force you to wake up properly and fumble around for a light switch and find that (irritating) alarm clock. Better yet, ask somebody to hide the alarm clock in your room after you have slept if you keep finding the alarm easily.

3. Have a light switch nearby
If you are the person who can sleep with the light turned on, this one is a sure - fire method to wake you up. It is advantageous to have a switch for a very bright tubelight nearby. If you combine it with the previous step, then you would have to turn on the light to find out the alarm clock. Presto, u wake up.

4. Dont mix alarm with your dream
It would have often happened to all of you that you would be having a blissful dream, suddenly a phone or the doorbel would ring in your dream. You will try desperately to turn it off. You open your eyes and .. there is the alarm clock ringing. You will be wondering how the alarm sound merged into your dream...? Well, I can confidently say that you are not a lone horse in this... Though eventually you wake up, isnt it necessary that u take the appropriate precautions? Firstly get an alarm clock that produces a different sound that cannot be merged with your dream. (that is something difficult to ask - buts its ur life that I am speaking abt) Secondly, CONTROL YOUR DREAMS. lol

5. Get two alarm clocks
Some of you mite be the kind of person who needs to have a short 5 minute nap after the alarm rings; and then when you take that nap, you forgot to get up after 5 minutes.... Here's the tried and tested (YES) solution. Set up two alarm clocks. One set five to ten minutes (thats depending on you) after the other. Preferably the louder one first. And keep them away from each other. So the next day morning, you switch of that first alarm, have the 5 min dream sleep, and the get up with the second sound, very refreshed...
If you cant afford or manage using two alarms, then using a snooze alarm clock, one which is pretty loud. But the disadvantage is that, instead of pressing the snooze button, a person mite tend to press the alarm button, thus disabling the alarm; now you cant wake up in time.

I hope that by following these, u can get up bright and early for all those classes or meetings or use it to get up in evenings to play/study/watch tv etc. If you have any more to add, you know what to do....
Happy crashing and waking up.

Posted by satosphere at 2:54 AM

November 03, 2003
Avian Law
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

Some facts about Sleeping
Here I am to discuss some of the common myths and facts about sleeping. These are somethings which I have gathered from personal experience and from those of my friends...
Note : This is not a forward which I recieved...

Myth : Early to sleep is early to rise
Fact : That is not true at all. People who sleep early can get up late and those who sleep late can get up early. It does not depend on when a person goes to sleep at all. If u have the will power and the proper "Alarm Clock" you can get up at any time you want to. Continuing with that

Myth : Late to sleep is late to rise
Fact : This may be partly true. This fact has been accentuated by the fact that many of us do do so... But again, remember that an "Alarm Clock" can twist all these myths into nothingness..

Myth : Sleeping in the afternoon is of no use
Fact : That is entirely false. 2 hours of sleep in the afternoon is worth an hour of mugging (can be substituted for any other activity - but mugging is the one that will cause sleepiness) in the nitetime. Note - this is a very good activity for all you owls out there.

Myth : Dreams are reflections of our reality
Fact : Dreams are just some convoluted (twisted) versions of what we undergo daily - u can think of it as the way in which our brain process the days' information and puts it away for storage. There mite be backlogs here and there and hence u mite dream abt the past also. Try to enjoy the dreams u have. This brings up my next point.

Myth : Dreamless sleeps are the deepest, most enjoyable sleep
Fact : That is SO NOT TRUE. Yes, u mite have had a tired day and would look forward to a clean sleep. Heck - u lose the fun of sleep then. Sleeping is for enjoying dreams. Theres no joy in shut-eye open-eye sleep. Such a sleep is a waste of 6 - 8 hours when u could have actually lived ur dreams (to quote from Die Another Day)

Myth : Sleepless nites are a bad problem
Fact : Sleepless nites are not bad. Its just that there has been too much happening that day that ur mind is clouded with too many things. Anyway, if ur not sleepy, there are always a lot of things to do - blog(hop), chat, mail, read novels, game, go out with friends. To sleep, all you need is to take some soporifics (sleeping tablets, for the less precise)

Myth : Sleeping tablets are bad for health
Fact : Sleeping tablets are a good way of getting rid of sleepless nites. Just dont become addicted to it...

Any other myths to add? Do comment or mail me
The next action after sleeping is waking up. I will discuss elegant ways of doing that after a good nites sleep in the next post.
Have a nice sleep.

Posted by satosphere at 3:53 AM

November 27, 2003
Barr's Comment on Domestic Tranquillity
On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy -- but we'll work on it.

More Sneeze
Confused equations

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